I've become rather accustomed now to the two different ideaologies of financial independence. Practically everyone dreams about financial freedom, but some do while others just continue dreaming. I've mentioned a friend of mine at work before about this topic. He and I have always talked about opening a business and becoming financially independent, but it never went further than just talk. Since we've both endured different paths in our IT careers, this meant we haven't kept in touch as much through the last several years. I've tried on a couple of occasions to 'enlighten' him on this venture called real estate investing, but on both occasions the idea seemed to go on deaf ears. I thought I'd try one more time.
I managed to catch him on chat the other day, and we agreed to meet for lunch today. I didn't tell him at the time that I wanted to discuss REI - only that we'd "catch-up" on what we've been doing in and out of work. So, today rolls around and I send him an IM asking if he's ready to go. He responds that he was but would like to bring along a friend. I know a couple of his friends, and am not too partial with any of them - most of the people where I work are very ... ummmm .. how should I say it? ... conceited. And these friends are no exception. They believe they are Bill Gates reincarnated, and become rather offensive if someone disagrees with their viewpoints (ask me how I know). So, I asked my friend who he was bringing as I thought it was only going to be us, and he mentions it's "Jack" (one of those friends of his). I tell him I have no problem going with him and "Jack", but that I had some important personal information regarding some business ventures I wanted to discuss with him, but would only discuss them with him alone. He asks what kind of ventures and I tell him real estate. I go on to tell him since our last discussion on RE, I've acquired one property and have my foot in the door to buy many more on my way to financial independence. Immediately he reverts to what most dreamers envision: only the negative aspects of RE investing.
Him: "I have friends who have tenants and they tell me nothing but horror stories."
Me: "I've heard horror stories myself, but it won't dissuade me."
Him: "I wouldn't go down that route, if I were you. You'll end up losing more money and pulling your hair out when your tenants refuse to pay rent and tear up your house."
Me: (laughing) "Well all investments come with some risk now, don't they?"
And so on for a few minutes. After awhile, I realized that my efforts were futile, and I abruptly (but nicely) ended the chat on REI. I understood his mindset was not going to change, and he would always be a dreamer only. I told him that I had brought my lunch (which I did) and that we could met again next week or some other time when "Jack" wasn't around to catch-up on our lives. If we do, I'll wait for him to bring the subject up (which I doubt) as I cannot burden myself with anymore negativity. Kiyosaki and others I've read say you need to surround yourself with like-minded people in order to succeed, and I understand why now. Not only does it waste your time, but the negativity really does interfere with progress.
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6 comments:
I hope you don't mind me saying so, but it sounds like your friend is also conceited. It was a little tough at first for me, hearing the beat of a different drummer. But, once you get going with real estate, those guys will all be looking on with envy. I've seen that from a few people at work. On the other hand, I don't get invited to parties with work people anymore! It doesn't bother me much at all, though, since I can be happy in the fact that I'm making strides to being finally free--in short order! And, you always have us to spill your guts to!
Isn't it amazing how once you start having success, you can pick up on the negativity other people put out?
Trisha - Actually, you're right. My friend is a bit conceited as well - not in the technical sense (as he will tell you he's not very smart), but in most day-to-day things. Looking back now, I can pinpoint a lot of times where he's been negative on a lot of things. He's a nice guy, and would do anything for you, but he's stubborn in his ways.
Shaun - Yes, I sure can. Not only the negativity, but also the resistence in changing their lives. I admit I'm no REI expert, but I could give people advice now that has taken me a long time to experience and a lot of money to learn - yet almost every time, the people don't want to hear it when I offer it for FREE. Simply amazing.
People become comfortable with their little world, and fear change. In addition, the effort required to learn something new, such as real estate, is tremendous!
You can't change people. It is to your benefit that he showed his negativity in the beginning so you can simply move on to the next potential person.
Josh - Very true. Negativity is a mask for "I don't want to get out of my comfort zone."
Andviv - You are probably right. This guy is a big stock market person. Unfortunately for him, he has also lost his shirt in a few deals. I recall him buying SUN Microsystems a few years back at $15. It went up to $22, and instead of cashing out, he held on. I think it's now trading somewhere around $5. But instead of jumping into a venture where the ROI can be higher, he opts for the "safe"(?) route.
Richard - Good question. I suppose the reason for me trying to convert my friend are two-fold. First, he's a good friend, and we've shared visions of opening businesses together in the past. I wanted to show him that this business model is not only a vision, but a reality. Second, while I wouldn't say he's wealthy by any means, he does have access to cash - i.e., my own PML. He told me he bought his house with CASH back in $180k, and it is now worth around $250k. So that's $250k of equity sitting there doing nothing that I (wink, wink) could be using.
I couldn't help but chuckle when you quoted the conversation with your friend as it sounds eerily similar to my coworkers. I refer to these individuals as Dream Crushers! Though I'm still in the dreaming stage I continue to take steps in the right direction and will eventually reach my goals. What better way to prove the dream crushers wrong!
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