People who have been following my blog know how much a barrier my wife was about my venture in the beginning. She has slowly warmed up to the deal, because (1) I've communicated well about this current deal and (2) she now knows that I am serious about seeing this deal through. Well, with all the money I've had to fork over for this deal, she has slowly retracted back to being a nay-sayer. Worse yet is the fact that last night I told her that I'd probably need to bring a lot of money to closing next week. She asked if that included the 5% down that we were originally going to do, and I told her "No". She didn't say anything more after that, but her silence was more than enough to convince me that any future deal will have to come with no, or very little, out-of-pocket expenses. I explained to her that if I turn around and refinance with terms the loan officer explained to us, we'd not only get almost all of our money back that we've socked into this deal, but also have a few thousand left over for reserves/holding costs and still have a good chunk of equity in the property. I could tell, though, that she wasn't buying it. I have to admit I didn't think I'd be having to shell out so much up front on this deal, either, at the beginning. I also think this may be my last HUD investment, unless any future deal is really profitable. As it is, I can still stand to make about $10k profit after a 6-mo. hold, it's just that I think both of us want this deal to end and move on. Perhaps, once we get the deal closed and sold, and get that check in our hand, we'll both have a better taste in our mouths - her more than me. I also feel that I really need to start wholesaling a lot more. IOW, start getting motivated sellers calling me instead of me relying on finding a diamond in the HUD foreclosure rough.
I always thought "How could newbies stop REI after doing one deal?" Now I know. I definately won't stop as the will to see my goals fulfilled is still burning inside, but I really have to rethink the path to take to get there. If nothing else, this current deal has given me so much experience that the next deal should be easier, and the deal after that easier still, and so on.
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6 comments:
I feel your pain. It is very frustrating during any learning curve. Nothing ever is easy. Just hard work Disguised. Your right, there will be many things you won't do on the next deal, ie hindsight. Your burning desire to have FI will not go away. yes you may have to find other streams of income, but eventually you will have enough equity to really invest without so much anxiety. we men are the dreamers and our wives are the caretakers. They don't always understand the male need to build, as we don't always understand their need for safety and risk aversion. But all men of any modest success usually has a good woman in his corner. Never quit, re-evalute. You will succeed!
Hey, Richard,
I have to tease you a little on your comment! My blog, after all, is called "Building An Empire". And, luckily, I don't suffer from risk aversion. But, I do concede that there really aren't many women out there like myself. My boyfriend agrees. Actually, we have a little "role-reversal" going on--he's always the one to try to caution me, pulling back on the reins. Maybe I'm just the wildcard that was thrown into my gender to keep you guys guessing!
Steve,
Don't worry about your wife (but, of course, don't disregard her either). She'll come around once she sees you making money in REI. She's a little tense right now, as my boyfriend was for our first couple of deals, but she'll see what a good thing you're into. It'll take time. Meanwhile, don't let the pressure get to you. I have confidence that you'll get better and better at making money as you train your brain to do so. Just keep thinking and reading, etc. It took about 2 years for my brain to really form the pathways to allow me to come up with great financial ideas. And, now, I'm coming up with another money maker idea almost on a daily basis.
richard - Great post! In the grand scheme of things, I understand this deal is something that I can look back on as mostly educational and partly financial. While the financial part is always welcome, the educational part is something no one can put a price tag on. I haven't even closed on the property yet (another educational step), but I feel I've gone from totally clueless to relatively understanding of both REI and, more importantly, FI as a whole. In general, I agree about your gender statement, too. I think it has a lot to do with evolution, but that's a whole 'nother topic. :)
trisha - You sound a lot like my older sister. A lot of people have told her 'no' throughout her life, but she's proved them all wrong. She's now an M.D., holds a Ph.D., is married to another M.D., and owns several businesses. True inspiration. I gues I'm just a late bloomer. :-P
Now I have to take some of my own medicine! The Major indexes have pulled back. And I am leveraged to the max! Margin Call tommorrow. Ouch. Trisha I thought of you when I wrote that post how ironic for you to tease. all fun. Happy investing. I really enjoy both your blogs you and steve, helps me to know there are like minded people out there. Sometimes I feel alone in my quest for FI.
Hey Steve,
I was Trisha#1's brick wall for awhile, so I know how your wife feels. I just wanted to encourage you to stick with it. I've learned to trust Trisha with this REI stuff over time, and am now her active partner in crime :) It's a big, scary thing, and for conservative folks like me, rather intimidating. Of course, that's good, or everyone would be doing this, and it would be alot harder to succeed. I'd like your wife to know that, as I've read your blog, it's obvious that you're going to do well... even if you meet a few speed bumps along the way.
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